Dad: Who's Your Daddy?

After I gave the weekly presentation at Men’s RoundTable this past week, I had breakfast with a good friend. He asked me: “Why haven’t you forgiven your Dad?” His question shocked and sobered me because at this time in my life I don’t want to communicate that I have any unfinished or unsolved feelings about my Dad. He’s 84 year old!

I said to my friend, “I think I have forgiven him, but I try to be very transparent and open about the issues I have faced in my relationship with my Dad. I know how so many men struggle due to unresolved experiences with their fathers. I try to be open about my own journey in order to offer understanding and hope to men who need to do the work that will free them from anger and hurt due to their desire for more from their Dads. I know how that hurt feels and robs too many men of their life.”

I love my friend. He is a great encouragement to me. His question alerted me to how my own attempt to be transparent could be interrupted as a still present struggle. Or, maybe I still do have issues and I need to search my heart as to how free I am to love my Dad and others. I am still in the process of making that assessment. My friend’s question has moved me to a deeper search of my heart for anything that hinders me of life in all its fullness.

What I do know is that hurt that has been caused by relationship can only be healed in relationship. I want to be forgiving as I have been forgiven. I know too, that my relationship with my Dad is a kind of model as to how I relate to God, my heavenly Father. Normal growth and development requires that at some point in my spiritual journey that I be able to transfer my trust for love, relationship, and care from my earthly Dad to the one true Father God. I continue my journey to acknowledge my love for my 84-year-old Dad and to fully trust God, the Father with my whole heart. Hope you will listen to this week’s podcast to hear more of how this journey works.

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Daniel Hicks